Wednesday, July 7, 2010

Dear Women: up yours.

Dear Women,

We know there are many things that you don't like us to do, or rather, that you don't like us not doing.  For example, picking up the toilet seat AND then putting it down after we pee.  I have distinct memories of my mother yelping in the middle of the night, whilst waking me up from my much needed slumber, because she fell into the toilet.  But mom, that is what you get for not paying attention.  You did live in an apartment with 3 other guys.

I think I speak for all men when I say we are pretty good at aiming with our true significant other.  It's akin to growing up bow hunting everyday.  I bet if you did that you wouldn't miss a deer very often.  Now try hitting that same deer while being shaken.  This is where the problem arises.  I know you might say, just lift up the toilet seat.  We do...but then you say put it back down when you are done...well dude, then we have to pick it back up again.  It's a never ending vicious cycle, and I for one DO NOT LIKE IT!  (Side note: another vicious cycle I don't like starts with a 'menst' and ends with us being yelled at for everything.) (another side note: My wife doesn't give me shit about this as of yet...but I have a feeling it's coming)...

So ladies, some much needed advice:  If you don't want us to pee on the seat, pick it up when YOU are done.  How 'bout them apples?  Or you could just stop complaining and we can share the responsibility!  I pick it up, you put it down.  And then you can stop waking me up with your screams because you won't fall in.  Truce?

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