Dude, where's my car?

If you think you car was stolen for about 10 minutes after work, don't panic.  Call your wife.  You're probably baby tired and forgot that you took her car.

Baby beats

It's really hard to take your son's crying seriously when he is farting at the same time...in rhythm.

Full Proof Plan...most of the time.

Could have sworn I had a fool proo system. 

My plan:

Wait 5 minutes after a fart before changing him.  Gives him time to work the rest out so we don't waste diapers or effort.  It's brilliant really.  So after a large wet one, we listen to him grunting and squeezing so loud you can hear him in the next room, for at least 5 minutes.  Gotta listen closely too in case you miss a fart.  If there is a fart, reset the clock.  

Well, that doesn't always work. Changed his diaper, and luckily I got the other one on before a massive explosion.  Not a bad success rate though.  Perhaps make it 10 minutes next time?

Write this down: 3 week olds can flip over during tummy time.  Especially if they used to be a ninja in their past life.

Everybody poops

When people tell you baby poop doesn't smell until they start eating solid foods....they're lying to you.  It smells.  Good news is, you don't care.  As a former guidance counselor and community center director wrote...You eagerly await it.  When it happens it means their digestive tract works.

Note to self:

Note to self:

If you hold your infant at a decline...yes even a slight one...if he decides to pee....it's getting all over you.

Note to self

Note to self:

Babies don't speak english.  They also don't take visual cues.  Sneezing WILL scare the shit out of them.

Welcome to the world Leon.  10/4/16, weighing in at 5 lbs 15 oz & 19 inches long.  Leo the Lion.

Hapkido time

Just some Hapkido warm ups, kicks, and messing around.

Bus Stop Ridicule

I was standing at the bus stop outside of a Homeplus (a Walmart type place) after just finishing teaching.  There was a mom and a 3 year old girl standing under the awning with me.    The girl was jumping around and singing an English song, no doubt that she learned at her school.  She was also looking at me while she was singing it.  She is the same age and size of my students so I had to tell her good job.  "Good job", I said to her.  Of course she looks up at me with an unsure expression, as all Korea kids do after they try to get your attention and succeed.

I said to her "high five" and presented my hand for her to slap.  My students love this very much...that and touching my arm "fur"...or as they say it "puh".  The little girl of course didn't slap my hand...but instead did something MUCH better.  She looked up at her mother, and then me, and said in Korean "pervert".  I couldn't believe this little 3 year old girl called me that.  I started laughing really hard because this little girl had some big balls.  Her mother gasped, as if she couldn't believe that her little angel even knew that word. 

I went back to reading my book but still standing next to them waiting for the bus.  About a minute later the little girl turned to me and, again in Korea, demanded to know who I was.  I told her "I'm Jake teacher."  Then she said something else to her mother which I didn't understand, but it had to not be nice because her mother covered her mouth and whisked her onto the bus that came a little too late.

It was very very funny.